Failure is a detour, not a dead-end. Because we all make mistakes, learning how to deal with failure – whether it is real or perceived, is critical. Failure is one of those words we hear often when it comes to weight loss. It’s a commonly-repeated word clients use, especially if they are perfectionists and take on an all-or-nothing way of thinking.
Failure perceived from a negative perspective.
Negative thinking can really destroy our success when we are trying to create a new eating lifestyle. The problem most of us have with failure is that we only look at it from a negative perspective. Just think of the word itself… FAILURE. It sounds heavy, negative and defeatist.
The longer you live, the more you are going to have to deal with failure.
One of the world’s greatest motivational speakers, Zig Ziglar, is quoted as saying, “Failure Is A Detour, Not A Dead-End Street.” The longer we live, the more we are going to have to deal with failure. It’s inevitable. How we fair when it comes to times that we fail at something depends on how we choose to view it. Do we see it as a devastating, dream-ending catastrophe; or do we see it as a valuable experience that moves us one step closer to reaching our goals?
Recognize that failing is beneficial.
We can learn immensely from our failures in ways we could never learn without them, especially if we learn not to make the same mistake again. And while it is important to face our weaknesses and accept personal responsibility for our actions, we can’t really correct our problems if we aren’t willing to face them. We will certainly never overcome our obstacles if we just say it’s too hard and walk away.
Failure Makes You a Stronger Person.
- We actually need failure in our lives.
- When we encounter failure and continue to press forward, we strengthen our ability to persevere.
- We will acquire skill from doing the wrong thing, because we have learned from what we experienced.
Reframe “failure” as a valuable part of your journey.
- You’re not going to be so easily side-tracked the next time.
- You will remember what it felt like.
- If you never experience any setbacks in your life:
- You’re living life totally in your comfort zone and not achieving much… not putting yourself out there at all. You’re setting your sights so low that succeeding is easy.
- Setbacks will assist you in achieving goals and dreams.
It’s not failure if you didn’t lose the same as someone else on the plan or reach a particular number by a certain date.
Give yourself permission to be an individual. Every time you fall short, you will get stronger if you choose to have the right attitude about it and refuse to give in. Setting a bigger goal for yourself in a given month means you will be more focused on planning and implementing your program instead of not setting a goal at all and hoping for the best.
Realize that failure is a stepping stone to success.
Every person you might label as successful has failed at some point in their life while trying to achieve a goal. Most them have failed more times than you can imagine. For instance:
- Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks, was denied by 217 banks before one finally gave him the funds he needed.
- Dr Seuss, the much-loved children’s author, had his first book rejected by 27 different publishers. His books that weren’t good enough for 27 publishers went on to sell more than 600 million copies worldwide.
It really wasn’t failure, but rather it was unfinished success. Every time you fail or fall short, you move one step closer to success. The benefit of the failure was that you learned from it. You learned how to do it better next time.
“Failure is just the price of admission, and everyone has to pay the price.”
So, the application here is not to give up. If you have failed to implement your program at all, worked at it half-heartedly, or worked hard and still aren’t where you want to be yet, keep at it!
Otherwise, you run the risk of walking away totally defeated with an even more negative view of yourself. You will end up creating a negative belief system about who you are that will cause you to stay stuck in your ability to lose weight, feel healthy, get off medications, play with your kids and grandkids; and even more devastating – lose the ability to simply accept that you are worth the struggle. You can get back up again and keep going.
Understanding that failure is the best teacher.
When you fail, you learn what doesn’t work, which is just as important as knowing what does work. It teaches you that the next time you try, you will have the knowledge of what to avoid or what to start doing to move you closer to success.
The great leader, Winston Churchill.
- Failed the six grade and was also rejected by Oxford and Cambridge because of his poor grades.
- Became Britain’s Prime Minister from 1940-1945.
- Lead Britain in WWII with his speeches and tactics.
- In 1941 he gave his famous speech, telling the country to, “Never give in… never, never, never give in.”
- He said, “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
Look, the only way to know what’s going to work and what’s not going to work is by taking action. There aren’t any guarantees in life. Sometimes you make the right move, and sometimes you make the wrong move. But there is still value to be found and lessons to be learned when you make the wrong move and experience a setback.
Failing doesn’t mean you are a failure.
- Failure is a result, not a way to describe yourself.
- Zig Ziglar also said, “Remember, failure is an event, not a person.”
- Failure should not become a part of your identity.
- Just because you have failed at something doesn’t mean you’re a failure as a person.
- Don’t let it define who you are.
- Separate your self-worth or your value from your failures.
- Failing means you’re actually a step above the average person who only dreams of losing weight but never takes action because they are too afraid to fail or don’t want to change.
Benefit from your failures.
Realize that what others think of your failure is irrelevant. This is HUGE! Everyone has an opinion, and most of them don’t matter. When you hand over your much-needed energy to worrying about what other people think about you, it will prevent you from moving forward. Pick and choose who you listen to very carefully.
Lastly, redefine failure.
Overall, the take away is that we just need to change our thinking and our definition of failure when it comes to many things in life, even weight loss.